Lately, through counselling and lots of alone time, I’ve come to realize that by nature, I’m a fearful person.
Not cowardly, fearful. And I believe there is a big difference between the two.
Cowardly is running from things you are afraid of; letting that thing take a hold of you and rule over you.
Being fearful is knowing what makes you scared and facing it anyway.
This year, a goal of mine has been to face my fears; to purposefully put myself in situations that I become anxious or fearful in. To walk into that situation admitting my fear but forcing myself to be brave.
It hasn’t been easy.
I’ve come to realize that one of my biggest fears is messing up, that I won’t live up to some “unspoken standard” that others may have. I don’t want to go through life afraid of others opinions of me; I want to go through life living the life I’m destined to live. To grow into the person I’m supposed to be every, single day. To be unashamedly who I am, to not be afraid of who God made me.
I think that’s easier said than done; you’re lying if you say that you are never affected by someone else’s opinion. We are all affected, in different degrees, by the judgments of others.
But, I hope we can each learn to live our life the we were each designed to.