Hello everyone, my name is Melanie……..and I’m a facebook stalker.

It’s a legit problem.

One time I made this confession to some friends and one of the girls I was talking to said, “I know Mel! It’s like your stalking this person and then you’re on their mom’s, cousin’s, gay friend’s, sister’s page!! You’ve got a problem!”


When I meet other chronic facebook stalkers I feel this immediate bond with them, like we’ve been best friends for centuries! I met this girl once at a New Year’s Eve party, I had heard her name before and had seen her pictures on my friend’s page but had never met her before. We’re talking and I’m asking her questions about school and work and stuff. Then I start mentioning things about me and my husband and before I can get too far she looks at me with a guilty face and says, “I know…..I’ve facebook stalked you………a lot!”

Can I be completely honest with you? Never in my life had I felt so loved……I’m not joking! Someone facebook stalked me?! Is this a problem? Tell me the truth?

We’re best friends now…..or really best friend crushes. You know what that is right? You meet someone and want to be their best friend so much that you might just die. We both have best friend crushes on each other and it’s beautiful………but that’s another story.


The reason I’m telling you this is because I want to come clean.

The husband and I were talking about weird relationships (a discussion spurred on by an episode of The Office) and there’s this person we know that is dating someone who has a child their age. So we were talking about whether this person is still dating said older person……we were going back and forth on it and just decided to facebook stalk the person we know. There was a cryptic status about “mistakes and changing” and a relationship status that read single. That’s awesome, question answered, let’s go back to normal right? Wrong.

What was the name of the person that was being dated? We have to find a name and stalk them!! The husband kept asking me questions on how to go about acquiring this information and with some classic detective work, we solved the puzzle.

My husband, was asking me questions on how to find the person that was being dated………..I think I have a problem.


The first step is admitting it right? Should I be talking to someone about this?

It’s just so addicting!

Are you a chronic facebook stalker? Give me a like or comment if you know that feeling!


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