I have always wanted to be perceived as the heroine, the bad-ass, the one who takes charge of situations and doesn’t back down. A girl whose bravery took people aback; who could speak her mind without there being a tremor of fear in her voice.
I want to be that girl who could hold her own in a fight; like the Bride in Kill Bill, Catwoman, Ellen from Supernatural and Michone from The Walking Dead.
This girl can teach the boys a thing or two about being tough. She can keep up with the baddest of the boys and give them a run for their money.
A motorcycle riding, hair whipping, red lipstick wearing, punch throwing, smack talking, tattoo sporting bad-ass.
And it’s not for lack of trying…no! The problem is, if I do those things they come across as cute no matter how tough I make myself out to be. It seems the more tough I try to be the more adorable people think I am; it’s incredibly frustrating.
My sister’s favorite taunt when I’m trying to be tough is, “I can be hardcore.”
This is a quote from Bubbles on the Powerpuff girls; me and my sisters are the Powerpuff girls. My youngest sister is Buttercup because of her tough, outer shell and short hair. My middle sister is Blossom, because of her red hair, bangs and sweet attitude with a touch of bossiness. Me….I’m Bubbles, because I’m the cute one; because the things that Bubbles says are exactly the kind of things I would say.
When I do daring, dangerous things, people get worried about me rather than awing at my bravery. When my sisters look tough and amazing in our grunge inspired photoshoot, I’m the one derping around in the background and taking cutsie pictures because I don’t know how to look tough.
Growing up, when I would get mad at my sisters they would laugh at me! To this day I am mocked for my angry face. Even my husband says that I’m going to have the hardest time being mad at our children because my angry face is just going to make them laugh.
I don’t get taken seriously when I’m angry; instead I’m the laughing stock…
I am not (and will never be) perceived as a bad-ass–I will always be the cute one.
It’s something I have fought my entire life, but I’m learning to just embrace it. Because you know what, there is a bad-ass hiding in me somewhere. The cuter I am, the less you’ll see it coming……..