Four Years Later

Six years ago, I was facebook chatting with a boy I’d known since I was ten years old. Little did I know that those random, late night conversations, states apart, were making me fall in love with him.

Six years ago we spent a whole weekend being thrown into each other’s company. We were just friends……who secretly really liked each other. We played Coldplay songs together and I sang them. He played me a song he’d made up and I had a feeling that it was the start of something big.

Six years ago, I realized I loved that boy and that there was no way in hell that he could love me back.

Six years ago I found out he did and that he wanted to date me.

Two years went by of him living an hour away from me. I worked and he went to school and we went to starbucks on the weekends to spend every last moment with each other. We went window shopping and out to lunch dates with each other. We shared music all through those two years and held each other’s hand every moment we could.

Two years went by of me crying every time he had to leave when the weekend was over.

Two years went by and we started to talk about getting married.

Two years went by and he asked me to be his bride.

Two years went by and at the end of it we got married!

Four years ago I said ‘I do.”

Four years ago we made our home in a dinky, little apartment. We worked three part-time jobs between the two of us and our special date nights were at McDonalds. I hated my job and he hated being in school still. He graduated and got a real job.

Four years have gone by.

Four beautiful and painful years of a crazy relationship. A relationship where we loved each other most of the time and hated each other some of the time. Lots of ups and lots of downs.

Four years of fighting hard for our relationship. We’ve both changed a lot, hurt a lot and laughed even more!

Four years of inside jokes and weird voices. Watching our tv shows and playing weird, made-up games.

Four years of growing into who I am and I couldn’t have done that without him.

We celebrated four years of marriage on August 6th! We were such babies when we got married I’m surprised we’ve survived on our own this long!

Four years later we have our own baby and we are loving being parents–most of the time!

I am a very lucky girl and I love you husband!

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Struggles Of A Night Owl Who Loves Sleeping: Part 1

This post was inspired by a dear friend who was having a heart-to-heart with me over facebook messenger one night.

Things were wrapping up when I had to address a very important issue: namely the fact that I had taken something to make me sleep and two hours later it was kicking in and I couldn’t hold on much longer.

It’s really sad. I LOVE sleep. Nothing is more delicious than waking up in a dreamy haze to feel that the arm sticking out of the blankets is freezing cold; and then you slip that arm into the cozy depths of your bed nest and burrow back into its warmth and drift into your dreams again.

Nothing is better than cozy mornings as you lazily wake up.

That is until you have a kid that wakes up and you have to get him and there is no more sleep for you!!

I am a night owl by nature. But night owls and five month olds don’t mix. I thought I was cured of my sleeplessness when I had a baby! Waking up two times in the night left me falling asleep in five minutes. And then that baby started sleeping through the night at 3 months old and I was used to waking up in the night at least once!

So hear I am: a steadfast night owl to the end!

But when morning comes, this owl’s feathers get pretty ruffled.

So I’ve turned to the age old cure of melatonin to help me sleep.

But it’s so different! Waking up is like being dragged back from limbo. The dreams are intense, weird and strangely detailed. The being-woken-from-an-alternate-universe kind of dreams that leave you questioning reality for a minute or two when you wake up.

Not a pretty way to start the day!

But what’s a girl to do?

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Beaming and Blushing

Oh my!

I just got the very first award on my blog…..I just fainted, I’m back now!

I was just nominated for the Liebster Award by the ever so sweet Naturally Dreamy! I was in the middle of a wrestling match with my 5 month old who was refusing to sleep……he won and fell asleep playing just in case you wanted to know…

So needless to say….this made my day!

Thank you so much! I am honored, humbled, beaming and blushing–I feel so validated as a writer so THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

I feel so silly accepting this award, because I get so anxious about my writing! But how can I say no to such a sweet and generous gesture?

LIEBSTER AWARD

Here are the rules for accepting this award:

-Thank the blogger who nominated you and display the award on your page. (Did I thank you enough Naturally Dreamy? Because THANK YOU!)

-Nominate 10 other bloggers (less than 1,000 followers, the rules are hazier…I most definitely apply to this!)

-Answer the 10 questions asked you by the blogger who nominated you.

-Ask 10 questions to the people you nominate

Here are my nominations (there is absolutely no pressure to accept, just wanted to spread the love!):

The Grand Parade In Our Past – You are my #writinggoals all the way girl! You write with the magic of a gypsy storyteller. You obviously put so much time and effort and love into your stories, weaving them with beautiful words so carefully. You are my everything and you are so beautiful! You have one of the most beautiful souls and it comes dripping through your writing! Thank you for being my inspiration!

Just Erica Lynne – This fine lady right here is amazing! She is so bubbly, so wise, so FUNNY!! She writes all about life and love and her love for the Lord. She has such a sweet, funny, loveable personality…I’m sure you’ll fall in love with her just as much as I have!

Storytime with John – This guy tells stories that will have you laughing until you cry! He has such an optimistic outlook on life and the struggles we’ve all had to face. He reminds you to take life in stride and to not take yourself too seriously. He’s a pretty awesome guy!

(As you can see, I don’t have much time to read…these people get me through the day!)

Okay, you can stop reading if you want or we can delve deeper into the post, are you with me?

Here are the questions I need to answer:

1. What music did you grow up with?

I grew up with a LOT of classical music. Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Rachmoninov, the lot! As we got older it morphed into movie soundtracks, the Beatles, and Coldplay. I don’t know, we were all over the place…

2. What impresses you that doesn’t impress anyone else?

That’s a tough one. I think sometimes it’s the simple things–I don’t know if I have a good answer for this one.

3. What song do you race to the radio to turn off? Or turn up?

Oh gosh! Anything by Taylor Swift–kinda sucks when I come home and the husband is blaring it in the kitchen. (He’s a recent convert and I’m staying strong…for now!) And I like to turn up anything by Alt-J, particularly Every Other Freckle, this song brings me life!

4. What skill do you want to have?

I want to be a master at yoga! I’m already very flexible but I hope one day to be strong enough, and flexible enough to be a yoga instructor!

5. Do you have a hidden talent?

Yes, I do a BOSS Kari impression. As in, Kari the babysitter from The Incredibles. I’m very good!

6. When was the last time you laughed and what were you laughing about/at?

Tonight. The husband and I are watching through Twilight (in an attempt to laugh at it and make fun of it…no, we are NOT enjoying ourselves at all, we don’t like it…not even a little bit….) We’re watching Part 1 of the last movie and I cannot get over how Bella always looks like she’s about to throw up! The husband and I could not stop laughing at the absurdity of this movie!

7. What question do I wish my nominator was asking me? 

Something you may not know about me?

I have a scar that is the perfect shape of a heart on my wrist. It happened when I was curling my hair once!

8. Do you have an accent? Do you like it or wish it was different?

I don’t know. Some people are surprised that I’ve spent most of my life in the South and swear I don’t have an accent to show for it. Others think my accent is SO CUUUTTTEEE! I don’t know. I try so hard to not say “Yustacould” (Used to could) or “Y’all” or any other Southern slang words so I guess you could say I wish it was different.

9. What did you think of the last movie you watched?

Twilight doesn’t count, I already knew what I thought of it. The movie before that was Magic In The Moonlight with Emma Stone and Colin Firth. So sweet, so adorable, so simple. It lifted my spirits immensely!

10. What’s the story behind your favorite photo?

This picture that me and my sisters recreate at every photo shoot. This is one is particularly bittersweet because this was a few months before I got married. It was a beautiful time!

Shoot with Heather (308)

I’m going to cheat and ask my nominees the same questions I was asked because the baby needs me and I’ve got to go!

Thank you again for the nomination and best wishes!

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Running

The pounding of my shoes on the pavement. The labored heavy sound of my breath. My headphones blaring.

Lungs screaming for air. Heart beating strong and fast.

Willing my mind to not give up before my body. One leg in front of the other, one more time, one more time, one more time….

Lost in my mind, lost in my breath, lost in the music.

I’m not a runner, in fact in the past I’ve struggled with Exercise Induced Asthma. But there’s something about the steady repetition of a run where you can get lost in music, the world, your mind and your body all at once.

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Heavy

I’ve never been one to travel light; from the endless abyss of my purse to the fear packed into every inch of my being in a crowd.

When I travel to another place my suitcase is filled to brimming of things I would need “just in case.” When I am around people who may judge me, I pack my mind with responses to pretend judgements “just in case.”

There’s a closet in my home where the shelves are stacked high with boxes of old pictures, knick knacks and old letters that I can’t seem to let go of.

And my heart is still clinging to the stinging of all the times I’ve been hurt….and I just can’t seem to let go…

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Reflection

I’m going to keep this super short…but this is something that has been driving me crazy the past few days and what better way to deal with something than to cast it into the deep abyss of the internet?

There has been a lot happening the past few days here in the U.S.

Equal marriage rights for everyone and the removal of a certain flag from all government properties.

I’m not here to take a side on these issues, I feel to really be able to communicate my stance on the matter I’d rather speak to someone directly. But I do think that one thing applies to those on either side of the issue:

We all deserve respect

Unfortunately, one look at social media and all you see are two extremes slandering each other.

Regardless of where you stand on these issues, respect each other! We all come from different backgrounds that give us difference perspectives and feelings on these issues. Let’s be adults and treat each other with the respect that we so boldly demand.

Carry on.

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Just The Way I Like It

I’ve always wanted our home to be one where others felt at home too. Where people would gather over food and wine and laughter to pass the time and the night away.

And to be honest, our home used to be a lot more open before we became parents.

The husband is in the midst of working 12 days straight; and although things have been incredibly busy, we’ve managed to squeeze in time with our friends. Sunday was the best night of all though!

My sister-in-law showed up first, then an old friend and then my brother-in-law. Me and my sis-in-law went to get a movie and ran into good friends while we were out. And while watching a scary movie and chowing down on pizza we had more friends call to come hang out. Those friends stayed up with me after the husband had gone to bed and every one else had left and we played video games and watched tv together.

The whole day people were in and out of our home at their leisure. Between taking care of our guests and our son, the husband and I shared a stolen kiss here and a squeeze of the hand there. Our hearts filled to brimming that we could love our friends and family this way.

I hope that my son gets to grow up with a house full of friendship so strong it could be confused with family. And I hope that one day he has a love of giving soul-weary hearts a place to rest at his table.

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